it's been awhile.

yeah... it's been since november since i put my fingers on my keys to type something up for "the public". i tend to write a lot but for myself.

i wish i did it more often...

however... if you have followed along on my personal social, you know i have 2 very busy toddlers & 500 jobs.

ok... maybe just like... 5 jobs. but you get it.

a lot has happened since november... & while i don't owe anyone any type of explanation... i want to be real.

i'm a business owner. in some ways, i always have been.

representing myself in rooms of auditions makes me an agent & entrepreneur in my own way.

but w/ so many plates spinning & balancing... life has a way of kicking us around. the plates spin & spin while sometimes... we lose our balance.

it's been a tricky 6 months.

business & my clients/partners have been wonderful. my band has been busy. universal has been a rock.

but my personal life has been tough.

while i know having 2 toddlers has a lot to do w/ that "tough" feeling... it's been other various happenings too.

from multiple deaths in the family & my circle of friends...

to being taken advantage of by who i believed were my friends.

from the economy making huge moves of cost of living increase...

to dealing w/ the emotions of switching schools & sending our youngest to daycare. from almost fatal car accidents & delays w/ family moving plans... to the kids getting really really sick.

& some of you may be thinking: "yeah tk... that's life."

& while yes... you are right...

it's my party & i can cry if i want to.

& when multiple things are happening at once, it's heavy.

anyway...

my energy has been a pull & tug from 1 thing to the next. & it's been something... every week.

SOMEthing has happened.

& that's hard to deal w/ while trying to be pumped about business. [like... literally while i'm typing this... my internet goes out so i'm using my hotspot. it hasn't gone out in MONTHS but chooses to do so when i finally sit down & write? LOLLLLL]

SO!

i say all of this bc i realized the things that were happening in my life were also taking a toll on my mental health on how i viewed the world at hand & others... but also myself.

many of my clients have been through tough shit. they've had babies & they don't know their minds & bodies anymore. they've had a death in the family & they don't view their clothes of choice in the same priority they once did. they've changed careers bc they had no choice & they don't know where to start w/ looking the part in order to FEEL it. they've gained or lost weight bc health is hard.

they've gotten divorced & just can't find a way to care anymore.

whatever it is... your mind speaks over your body.

& mine has done that.

in some ways, i feel at a loss for the goals i had w/ my health.

after seeing my PCP in november, she referred me to see a rheumatologist. i didn't get in until january.

in the meantime, i cut out gluten & dairy again bc i knew that w/ my past PCOS diagnosis, it would make me feel better than i was. that specialist ordered me to get bloodwork done & xrays on the parts of my body that were hurting.

guess what?...

i haven't been yet.

it's JULY.

i have postponed my follow up appt w/ said rheumatologist every month bc they need at least 3 weeks for the bloodwork to come back.

why have i pushed it off?...

denial?

fear?

ignorance is bliss?

but i made a promise to myself...

we're 1/2 way through 2024 & i am going to write & read more often... & i am getting my groove back.

i feel a shift. maybe? or i am at least picturing it & manifesting it.

& that's a start!

we can do hard things.

we can prioritize ourselves again.

we can allow grief, hurt, & history make us be in our feels... but life moves on... so we do too...

in some way, shape, or form... we move on.

& it's in our control as to how we handle it in the moment & the moments to come.

& it's really hard. really hella hard.

but life has proven we can overcome.

whether you believe in the power of prayer, positive thinking, manifestation or karma...

there is a higher power that helps us do this. & that will empower us when we invite that in.

i'm grateful for you.

if you're reading this... i'm glad you are here. i'm thankful you have found a purpose for whatever reason in what i have to say.

i hope you get something out of it.

if you need to talk... here for it.

if you need a hug, high five, rage room or coffee/happy hour date...

here for it.

if you need to purge your closet & burn your clothes to make you feel better... here for it.

[we can also just donate it if you want haha]

if you need to find some retail therapy... here for it.

here for you...

to make the best happen w/ the current version of you.

together.

xoxo

tk